The greiving process sucks...

It's been about a week since Tasha left us. What a rough week it has been.


Over the weekend, I went through all of our digital photos and made a Tasha file. While looking through it, it really covered everything - from being a puppy to pitcures I took just recently. It was really nice to look at - and will continue to look at.


Over the weekend, came the unpleasant task of getting rid of her personal effects. That was extremely hard, but I wanted to get it done - I didn't want to see things and keep coming across them. The dynamics of the kitchen have changed - her water and food bowl is no longer by the dishwasher, her treat jar is no longer on the counter next to the paper towels. It just seems real empty - kind of the way I feel.


The hardest part for me is the routine - or actually adjusting to a new routine. She is no longer laying in the middle of the kitchen floor as I'm making dinner; she is no longer watching me cook breakfast - while waiting for hers; coming home from work is very hard since PJ doesn't get home for an hour after I get home - she is no longer sitting at the front window. I always gave her a little piece of whatever I just ate in her bowl after I was done - now there is no need. Sunday, I made pasta and some fell on the floor - Tasha loved pasta - and there was no one there to pick up what had been dropped.


My mother told me a while ago to make sure that we were the last thing she sees - which I am so glad we were able to do. I know she knew how much I love her and always will. I think it has made this (if possible) for me to deal with. If she passed away in the middle of the night, I never would have been able to say my last goodbye to her. Of that I am very thankful.


She was around for almost 13 years, so she had a full life. She had people that loved her. She lived in two states, six houses, and even flew on a plane! Half of her life was spent in our current home.

I always called her my 'special girl' - which she is and always will be...