The greiving process sucks...

It's been about a week since Tasha left us. What a rough week it has been.


Over the weekend, I went through all of our digital photos and made a Tasha file. While looking through it, it really covered everything - from being a puppy to pitcures I took just recently. It was really nice to look at - and will continue to look at.


Over the weekend, came the unpleasant task of getting rid of her personal effects. That was extremely hard, but I wanted to get it done - I didn't want to see things and keep coming across them. The dynamics of the kitchen have changed - her water and food bowl is no longer by the dishwasher, her treat jar is no longer on the counter next to the paper towels. It just seems real empty - kind of the way I feel.


The hardest part for me is the routine - or actually adjusting to a new routine. She is no longer laying in the middle of the kitchen floor as I'm making dinner; she is no longer watching me cook breakfast - while waiting for hers; coming home from work is very hard since PJ doesn't get home for an hour after I get home - she is no longer sitting at the front window. I always gave her a little piece of whatever I just ate in her bowl after I was done - now there is no need. Sunday, I made pasta and some fell on the floor - Tasha loved pasta - and there was no one there to pick up what had been dropped.


My mother told me a while ago to make sure that we were the last thing she sees - which I am so glad we were able to do. I know she knew how much I love her and always will. I think it has made this (if possible) for me to deal with. If she passed away in the middle of the night, I never would have been able to say my last goodbye to her. Of that I am very thankful.


She was around for almost 13 years, so she had a full life. She had people that loved her. She lived in two states, six houses, and even flew on a plane! Half of her life was spent in our current home.

I always called her my 'special girl' - which she is and always will be...

TASHA 01/25/97-11/12/09.

Wednesday, we experienced a huge loss. It was necessary to put Tasha to sleep.

While I knew she was getting older, I had been trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. Well, no matter how much you think you can prepare yourself – it’s never enough.

Tasha had been having problems with her spleen. It was enlarged and she was taking antibiotics. Wednesday night, PJ came home and noticed she was having trouble getting up off of the floor to go outside, she went outside and collapsed in the backyard.

We took her to the Emergency Vet Clinic and she most likely ruptured her spleen. They could have done surgery, which was no guarantee and she is almost 13 years old. So, we made the decision. We were right there, all the way through.

Out of this, I’m glad we found her and were able to say goodbye while she was still with us. If I woke up the next morning, I don’t know if I could have handled that.

She was a constant for me, and for PJ too. I know she had an impact on our friends as well. For almost 13 years she was always there, always happy, and a source of happiness for me.

When we came home, there was no dog looking out of the window as we pulled into the driveway. I keep looking over by the front door – where she always laid and she’s not there. I look over to where her food and water bowls were; and the space just looks so empty.

I went through all of the pictures and put every picture I have of her into an album. Looking through it was very hard. There were pictures when I first brought her home as a little puppy, to her laying on the couch/bed/wherever, and outside in the backyard. Very hard to look at.

The shock part is over, I think. Now comes the reality – and it sucks.

If PJ hadn’t been here for me this week, I don’t know what I would do.

They say that time heals all wounds, how long can it take to heal someone who has been with you for that long? How can I fill this void in my heart? We’re going to miss her terribly!

She'll always be my special girl!!

Robby's birthday at Epcot

In order to celebrate Robby's birthday, we all went to the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot.

Good food, good friends, good times!!

Marine Mammal Keepers Experience

For Christmas last year, I gave PJ one of the behind-the-scenes tours at SeaWorld and we finally used it last Friday (it was getting set to expire).

It was a very good program; we saw the animal rehab area, interacted with Otters, dolphins, manatees, seals, walruses, polar bears and beluga whales.

Going to SeaWorld on my day off at 6am wasn't the first thing I wanted to do on my day off, but it was well worth it!!

one more Alaska picture...

All right, here it is...

Alaska Cruise

Wow, a 7-day cruise to Alaska. It was the most wonderful experience in the world!! Words can't describe the scenery. You can see a picture of a glacier, but with no reference to its size - you have no idea how big they are.

This glacier is two MILES across and New York City could fit inside of the glacier.

The cruise was incredible!! Well, Saturday there were 20-30 foot seas all day - everyone was sick, dining room was empty (i was fine, PJ not-so-much).

We did some awesome shore excursions and saw reindeer, bald eagles, bears and whales. I not have the nickname of "Tree Hugger" becuase of the zip-line excursion we did (amazing heights, swinging trees and platforms with no railings and 11 people standing around them). I didn;t take any pictures zip-lining, casure you couldn't get between the harness- which the camera was strapped to - and the tree that I was actually hugging.

We stopped in Juneau, Glacier Bay, Sitka, Ketchican and Victoria Canada. I would have liked to have spent more time in Victoria - we were only there for 4 hours and got there at 7pm. All the stops were very pretty scenic cities. I liked Sitka the best, casue they were all just a group of islands.

We spent some time in Seattle as well - and hung out with Greg and Mikel. And in case you were wondering - Washington State controls the sale of liquor. The bottle of rum we buy for $21 was $40 in Washington. Travelling to Seattle should only be made in first class. This is an awesome picture of us coming in for landing in Seattle - that is Mount Ranier, and the plane engine!!:

Awesome trip!! I highly recommend it!

my four-day stay-cation (well...kind of...)

Since I've been forced to switch to part-time at my job, I did reap the benefit this weekend. I had a Friday and a consecutive Monday off of work. A four-day stay-cation. Turned out to be very nice.

On Friday, I did a little job searching and game playing, did the grocery shopping, took some pool water in for it's bi-weekly testing and got ready for a card game that night with friends. PJ was very supries that I made dinner (usually, when we play cards at the house - I don't make dinner. we'll call it time restraints.) Laura, Patrick, Joel, Robby and Mark came over and we played aggrivation - then played a condensed version of dominoes. I didn't realize it, but we finished up at 2:30am (and a bottle and a half of Captain).

Saturday, I hung out in the pool and read. My book is getting real good - and action packed (it was a slow-starter). That afternoon, we went to Aaron and Hubert's house. Hubert is a friend of PJ's from college, and was having a BBQ. There were eight of us and we had a really good time. Turns out all of us are going to see Kathy Griffith this coming Saturday. Aaron made 'white sangria' - as soon as I heard sangria, I was hooked. It was awesome!! White wine with fruit and stuff - but they add vodka!!! How exciting is that!!!??

Sunday was just a chill day. I hung out and read in the pool all day. PJ went up to Paradise in the afternoon and I stayed home and made the BEST chicken Marsala. Oh My Gods!! I have to take my own chef hat off and congratulate myself on an awesome dinner!!

Monday (today), i woke up and reality set in - today was my LAST day of my stay-cation. I hate reality sometimes. This morning I really concentrated in the job search. I had a very good interview with Wet 'n Wild. My desire to find a job with benefits, insurance and health care took precedence today. Instead of going for only Safety jobs, I went for anything. Probably sent out 100 resumes - which is another purpose of the part-time thing at SW.

Tasha is very pissed at me right now. I had to take her back to the Vet to get her stiches removed. Do you know they use real staples? Heck, I could have done that with a staple remover! (kidding Tasha!!)

Well, back to work tomorrow. And I have to wait TWO WEEKS to get only a three day weekend! Reality sucks!!

July was a busy party month...

It turns out that july is a big party month here at the house. We started out with our July 4th bash. We had a lot more people than expected show up. I had to send PJ to the store to get more burgers.

We had enough fireworks to almost blow up the planet. But the most important thing is there were no can explosions, dog bites, breakage - anything!

Two weeks later, the Chorus had their season wrap party here at the house.

So this weekend, I don't have anything planned - PJ went to Dallas for his Aunt's birthday, so I have done absolutely nothing!! Ahhh...

Gay Days 2009

This past weekend was Gay Days weekend. Our friend Mikel flew in from Seattle on Thursday evening. He wanted to meet up with some other friends who flew in from Seattle earlier in the day at Parliament House. We went up around 9pm, met them and had a few drinks. I left early since I had to work the next day and got home around midnight.

Friday I only had to work till noon (but had to go in for an hour on Saturday morning). We went to Target after having Panera for lunch. PJ was home when we got home and people were coming over for the annual Friday-night hat decorating party. The twelve of us used staples to attach the velcro to the ears and hats (the adhesive on the velcro didn't hold with the heat last year).

Saturday was our day in the Magic Kingdom:

That was in front of the castle and Here is a group of us on the Splash Mountian.

There was only about a 15 minute rain, but nice cloud cover - so it wasn't so brutally hot! Mikel and I left right after the 3pm parade - everyone wanted to stay and go on Thunder Mountain.

Saturday night we went to dinner downtown and then to BarCodes. It was an early night, since we had such a long day.

Sunday was a chill day, then Mikel and I went to Parliament House.

An overall fun weekend!

Memorial Day BBQ mishap...

Ok, I didn't put this on the last post. Yes, the Memorial Day Party was great, had a good time, nice and everything.

What I 'forgot' to mention was the chili incident. Seems like everytime we have a party, I buy a can of chili - so someone can make Chili Dogs. Everytime, I cut up onions and put out a little bowl of shredded cheese - for toppings on the chili dogs. But I always forget to heat up the can of chili. So, now there are 8 cans of chili in the cabinet.

Last Saturday, I was ready - I was going to put it on the top shelf of the grill, and we were finally goig to have some Chili Dogs!! I pulled out the can and set it on the counter, I put foil over the top of the can so it wouldn't splatter, I put a spoon on it so I could stir it while it was heating up. Boy, I was all set! Except for the fact that I didn't remove the lid from the can (it had a pop-off top - so it was nice and easy).

Well, the can was all heated up, I went to go stir it and saw that the cap was still on it. I said to myself 'I better get this off of the grill so it doesn't explode'. I bring it in the house and set it on the counter. There were some people in the kitchen - and I didn't want them to open it. So what do I do? I pop the top on the can. Chili goes everywhere on the counters, in the air, everywhere!

It got on my face - i have a dot right between my eyes, on one side of my cheek; and all over my stomach and chest. I have about a three-inch circluar burn right on my stomach. Luckily, I have been taking care of it with silverdine (which PJ had left over from his minor surgery) and keeping it wrapped.

Needless to say, what an idiot I am!! Don't try to open the can of chili that has been on the grill for half-hour. Well, I did have a few drinks before - and definately had some after.

(Ok Lara, you can stop laughing now.) And needless to say, I am not goig to be taking pictures...

Happy Memorial Day!!

Lara came down from AL two weeks ago, she stayed here - then we went down to Mom's. Mom was going to have surgery, but ended up not having it done - long story... So we ended up at mom's for Mother's Day.

Last week was my birthday. PJ toook me to Dubsdread for dinner, then we went toBarCodes.

This past Saturday, we had our Memorial Day party here at the house. Had a very good time.

But WAIT!! Besides for a few little cosmetic things, the kitchen is done!!

Kitchen update & Bowling Tournament

Wednesday started week #5 of the kitchen remodeling. Things actually look like they are coming together. Should have some pictures soon...

This past weekend was the SIT Bowling Tournament here in Orlando. My arm and back are really sore - that's alot of bowling! Raymond and I came in 7th place in doubles. I entered the Optional - and won $60; they'll mail the payout for the double event. Robby was the big winner (2nd in doubles and 1st overall). We didn't win the $1000 jackpot, but won a two night stay at the Swan and Dolphin. Overall, a fun time!

Kitchen Week #2

Well, we decided to have the kitchen redone. And, boy, is it getting redone - new cabinets, new applainces, everything.
Now, I am not one who does transition easy. I can handle being inconvenienced - don't get me wrong... but our kitchen now is a shell of a room with nothing but pipes and electric wires sticking out of newly created holes.
I know, I know - it will be worth it. That's what I keep telling myself.
Becuase I need to keep telling myself that!! Every time PJ makes a 'change' to the plans - moves a cabinet from here to there. Or if they didn't deliver a fridge with two big old dents in the side.
No more delays! Time to start moving forward! OUT OF MY WAY!!

Beer Server

So our friends Raymond and David bought this bar (it was actually the bar that I used to always frequent and where I met PJ). Last Friday they had a very festive Bear Search and they asked if I would work selling beer from a tub. I said "Hell yeah!!".
I have never had SOOOO much fun. It was a blast and I made $106 in tips!!

The kitchen is being remodled. I have a picture to post with the kitchen in chaos - dishes in the front room, glasses in the tv room. It will be nice when it's done, but in the meantime - I don't have to cook ANYTHING! Woo Hoo!!

March 6th, 2009 weekend

Friday, PJ had a little out-patient surgury. (Trust me, you don't want to hear the details!!) For the most part, i've been keeping him doped up on pain meds - and he just sleeps alot.

Raymond and David bought the old 'Studz' bar effective last Thursday. Beer and wine - yuck!
The "bear Hunt' event is on March 27th and I get to sell beer from a tub! Exciting - I'll be sure to take some pictures.

Bowling Tournament 02/06/2009

Last weekend, we all went over to Tampa for the Gagme Bowling Tournament. PJ, Raymond, Dennis and I were a team; Raymond and I played doubles. My doubles set was the best overall (179, 180,167). The hotel where we stayed was the same one as last year, but we had a much better view this time around:

It was a very nice weekend.